STRESS DIET ----------- Author unknown BREAKFAST --------- 1/2 Grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk LUNCH ----- 2 oz. lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie Herb Tea MID-AFTERNOON SNACK ------------------- Rest of the package of Oreos 1 quart Rocky Road Ice Cream 1 jar hot fudge Dinner ------ 2 loaves garlic bread Large pepperoni and mushroom pizza Large pitcher of Beer 3 Milky Way candybars Entire Frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer DIET TIPS --------- 1. If no one sees you eat it - it has no calories. 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel each other out. 3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount. 4. Food for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as: Hot chocolate, Brandy, Toast, and Sara Lee cheese cake. 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you - then you look thinner. 6. Movie related foods don't count because they are simply part of the entire entertainment experience and not a part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, and Red Licorice. 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breakage causes caloric leakage.