T H E ||==\\ || || ||==\\ ||==|| || || || || || || || || || \\ // || || || || ||==// ||=|| |||| || || || || || \\ || // \\ ||==// \\==// || \\ ||==|| || || B L E N D E R C O R P O R A T I O N ...Presents... Where the missing socks from the laundry go by Snarastaman We have always wondered where our missing socks disappear to when we lose them in the wash. Now, I have discovered the dark evil secret. From the writer of Ernie and Bert: The Solution to the Eternal Mystery comes... Where the Missing Socks Go The secret is actually not very difficult to comprehend when handed to you on a platinum platter. Brace yourself: THEY FALL BEHING THE WASHER+DRYER!! Well, that's it. So long. Wait, that seems too cheap.I shall elaborate. When you do the laundry, you will notice that there is a frightful period during which your oh-so-kool Girbauds and designer felt underwear are not in either machine. It is while transferring them that the renegade socks make their daring escapes. Soaking and shrivelled, they leap from the pile of clothes and float peacefully in the air for a fraction of a second. Then, they land on the ground, safely hidden in the dark crevice behind the washing machine. Here, they set up colonies. They are free to obey no law but that which they create. They are far more liberal than normal, drawer-dwelling socks. Because there are rarely 2 from the same pair, they are all one large family unit. They formulate vastly complex plans to overthrow the conformist clothes, who are content to be worn and dirtied, then cleansed again in a never ending cycle of martyrdom. The escapee socks have realized that they are free to choose their own destiny, that they do not have to be worn and violated. The main goal of the fugitive socks is to maintain happiness within the colony, yet to make others aware of their plight. However, few socks refuse to listen. Advertising the escapist colony accounts for much of the time spent by its members. Various "special task force" sock groups have been organized to attack laundry loads in hopes of rescuing just one more victim who does not realize what is best for him. They live to further the cause of sockdom, the ideals of freedom and democracy. They know they must save the sock race, because it will only remain subservient to the humans if not liberated by its enlightened members. Thus far, the radical socks have not been succesful. People are still wearing socks, which means the majority of socks just sit around all day, clinging to sweaty feet, then going to the hamper to listen to sock WZOU and not care about the future of their race. Meanwhile, the rebel socks fight against injustice, conformity and passivism in a never-ending struggle for liberation. Hospital for Premature babies with Cabbage between their ears. (Hi Wek) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _______________________________________________________________________________ (C) 1991 by TriWorld (Un)Limited & The Durex Blender Corporation All Rights Curiously Examined And Contemplated "Oozing and Pulsating things are better left untouched."